TRANSCRIPT - 162 - The Cost of Burnout - What I Wish I Knew with Shae Giles

Getting a retreat doesn't happen without the incredible support of some amazing people
behind the scenes and that is who I'm going to introduce you to today's conversation. It is the beautiful Shea Giles. Shea has been my photographer for very,
very many years and she takes
her retreat happening in October on the 23rd to the 26th of October And Shea and I have known each other for a number of years and she is a very talented, beautiful
photographer.

Welcome Shea, thank you for joining us. Hello, sorry about that
technical issues, you know, it's like these old domiciles.
Look, it's so lovely to have you here. And I was just saying that you have been very generously supporting me for so many years and you're going to be capturing all
the beautiful women at the retreat and I'm so glad that you're coming because you also have a shared story of burnout having been through that in a very similar time
that I did and so it kind of resonates with you supporting this beautiful event because that is the crux of it. It's either supporting women who are on the edge
of burnout or helping them avoid getting there in the first place by giving them some of the tools and resources to do so. Exactly and that's exactly what I wish I
knew and I didn't and like many many of the business owners that I photograph they just have no idea they either don't have coaches or they haven't done this before
or they're flying by the seat of the pants so to speak and they just don't know how to manage everything from the business to the health to the children to you
name it. I don't even have children and I really struggled. struggled, landed up in hospital and it was a really serious time in my life and that's why I'm so passionate about this Mel and the reason I wanted to do this video with you is because I want to promote you in the retreat but if I'm going to promote  something I really want my clients to know that I believe in it and also what are they going to gain out of it? What bang are they going to get for their buck? So I thought well rather than just promoting the page I just want to say to you okay so
what is it all about? Because if people like me, they don't actually read too much.
They look pretty thin as that you create. That's it. And for the, I'm just, everyone knows you, I'm cut to the chase. What am I going to get for this? And
what's it going to entail? And how's it going to help me? So I thought, right,
from the horse's mouth. So go, girls. Okay. Well, let's start with what you just
shared there, because that's exactly it. I get to go to so many different
organisations. I'm seeing women in executive leadership roles and a lot of these
women don't even realise that they're on the edge of burnout themselves. And I'm not
saying that with any kind of criticism because I was exactly the same. I had no
idea. I thought that as long as I was still getting out of bed every day and that
I was being able to show up at work, I hadn't ended up in hospital and I hadn't
collapsed, then there must be still more in the tank and I just wasn't, you know,
there was just something. I wasn't doing it well enough. Exactly. But I got to this
point where my body ended up yelling at me loud enough that I finally listened. And
then when I finally got the support that I needed, that was when I realized exactly
how bad things had actually gotten. And it probably wasn't that much longer before I
would have ended up in hospital.
And you know, the fact that you deal with so many clients and you know, the
business women that you and the business owners like men aren't immune to this
either. - That's true, yeah, exactly. - It happens for both genders, but this
particular retreat is focused on women. Purely because this is my first retreat and
I wanna resonate with those that I can support from my own journey and my own
lived experience. And these women that you get to support through your photography
and the beautiful work that you do, running households, running businesses, trying to
keep it all together and, you know, a lot of time it's, you know, just with sticky
tape and it doesn't last all that long. So the reason I created X -Howers because
exactly that, you know, like you said, you didn't have the tools beforehand and
neither did I and I had been working with some beautiful practitioners in different
ways and I didn't realise the extent to some of these different healing modalities
and how they could actually be helping in supporting me. Now if you had asked me
two years ago to sit down and meditate for two hours, for two minutes a day, I
couldn't do it. Like I couldn't do it. It just was not, it was not possible. You
couldn't go slow enough now. No, but then I went and did my meditation practitioner
training and now I can sit and meditate for two hours. That's impressive. I've done
it twice. So 20 minutes 20 minutes is usually the good sort of size,
it's in range, but the point of that is that I've now got a series of tools and
I wanted to create a space where other women who are in that executive high power
business type role that could have a taste of what it is that these modalities have
to offer because I am quite spiritual woo -woo and I'm happy to go down and really
explore the extremes of some of these offerings that are out there. And I know that
that's not for everybody and I think that's what a lot of people get scared off
by. They go, "Oh, you know, I'm not going to do the breath work or I'm not going
to do the yoga thing or I don't have those conversations because it's just, it's a
bit too left to feel for them." And what I wanted to do is create a safe space
where people who are coming from a more conservative style or a more traditional
background who may not have had exposure to these things or might not be too
comfortable and no scenarios to just give them a really light touch. And because I
work a lot in the corporate space, you know, the type of people that I meet there,
they're not going to be technically exploring a lot of these things. It's just not
in a comfort zone. But I wanted to create an environment where I could just give
them a taster and just get them to see what that might offer them what opportunity
they might find and what they might resonate with, they might find that they don't
like any of it either but it just gives them an opportunity to explore some of
these other things. And the reason that these things I have found have been so
powerful is because they really have helped me regulate my nervous system. Now for
years I have been trying to figure out this magical fairyland of the system, what
is it, what do I need to do? And it was through this journey that I found out
that I was so depleted and that I was constantly stuck in that fight or flight
zone. But I didn't know how to get out of it. Okay, I recognise I'm up there now,
I know what's happening, but how do I get out of that back to this calm rest and
digest state that I'm supposed to be in, which is where my body is going to start
to function optimally again. And it wasn't until I started to learn some of these
tools and understand how my body works and the way that I, you know, the food that
I was putting in it and how I was taking care of myself that all of these things
were contributing to bringing me back into that state of calm and that rest and
digest state. And without being in that regulated space,
Everything else was actually starting to get really wobbly, you know relationships get
strained business is hard Decision -making is difficult brain fog I know that you're
resonating with this because we've had this conversation and you've And the
fundamentals the fundamental and the importance of sleep I had no idea the importance
of sleep and that's one of the first things to go and it is the just the pillar
of health and wellness and there's so many things that need to be learned. I also
love the idea that there's just going to be a community of women there that can
also bounce ideas off of each other and what's worked for you and where are you at
in your stage of life and some might be also going through menopause or
perimenopause or relationships and there's just so many fundamentals to business and
to life and I just think the more people that you have around you and the more
you can learn from experienced people like yourself, just the better equipped that
you are. And we all need that. Yeah, that's what I'm so passionate about it. Just
if only we did this like two years ago, it would have been good. It would not be
nice if they taught you this stuff at school. Oh, absolutely. But yeah, as I keep
saying, I don't even have kids and I just really, really struggled. I admire how
you just manage it all and travelling and and energy levels and and looking so good
and fitness and I think these people are just just superhuman in my mind so yeah
bring it on I want to learn as much as I can girl I'm going to have my notepad
pen there that's for sure. Amazing and look a lot of it has come down to me
completely shifting my priorities to be honest and I've had to take a really long
hard look at what I do actually say I value and what do I think is important and
am I actually then prioritising that because that was the other thing too is that
whilst I might think that some of these things are really important to me I wasn't
prioritising them which actually only further leads to burnout because then you get
bitter because you're not living a joy filled life you're doing a lot of things
that are draining you and you're not doing anything that's filling you up and you
know if you think about working if you work 12 hours a day you can do 12 hours
it's something that you really enjoy and you're passionate about but if you're doing
12 hours of something that is just draining the life out of you, it's like a
vampire. It's not going to serve you in any way shape or form. So it's about
thinking about where do you get your energy from? What is going to boost you? And
to take it back to the fact that this sounds like we're doing a lot of lovely
kind of breath work and yoga and I think we're going to But the reason we're doing
that is because it helps us shift all of that stagnant energy in our body It helps
us regulate our system and it builds capacity Exactly And when we have internal
capacity, that's when we have clarity of thought, we have ability to be present with
ourselves We're far more regulated, we can make better business decisions, we can
have better conversations, you know It completely shapes how you show up in life and
out there in business and that's the ripple effect. So this isn't just about, you
know, you coming along. It's what's going to happen as a result of that. Like how
is your business going to thrive? How's your relationships going to thrive? How are
your kids going to thrive? Exactly. As a result. I'm to be quiet and to have the
tools and have the guidance to figure out, well, where am I going in my business?
What am I doing? What are my priorities? How am I going to fit that all in? So
the speakers, who are the speakers? - So we've got a range of facilitators joining
us. So we have Heidi Lampard, who's going to be guiding us through our yoga
sessions in the mornings. Now, Heidi's actually a local by and lady now, but she is
an ex marketing exec who went through burnout on her own and found her way in
through to yoga and meditation and marketing. So she's got a very, you know,
relatable story for us to kind of connect with. We've already done a live with her,
so if you haven't seen that one, jump back and have a tune into that. Heidi is
just a beautiful human and she's going to be guiding us through some gorgeous
practices there. We've also got Amber Hawken, who's going to be taking us through a
breathwork journey. Now, Amber is one of my personal mentors. She is One of the
people who took me on her retreat and has helped immensely in my own healing
journey. I've been working with Amber for a number of years and so I'm very, very
pleased to say that she's going to be joining us and taking you on that journey.
So you're going to get a really small taste of some of the experiences I've been
through with her and what she has to offer and she's just one incredible human.
We've also got Courtney from Heart Resonance coming to do a beautiful sound healing
journey with us. So one night up to dinner, we're going to do a beautiful sound
healing journey with Courtney. Think about it as your lullaby to put you off to
sleep. And if you haven't done sound healing before, again, it's one of those things
that probably sounds a little bit woo -wooed. It's like, "Oh, how does he do that?"
But if you think about everything in your body is made of water. And when water
hears here's sound it vibrates and the frequency of that sound changes the vibration
and so when we talk about vibrations and you think it's a little bit cuckoo your
body is responding to that whether on a subconscious physiological level and it helps
to shift things around so we're going to be going through that with with Courtney
which is going to be an incredible journey we've also got a Lovely, Carrie Krieger
coming to join us. Carrie is a acupuncturist and Chinese medicine practitioner. She
specialises in female health. So she deals with lots with women and perimenopause and
menopause and she's going to be talking to us about how we can support ourselves
through these life transitions with grace, but also how we can maximise our energy
and optimise our health by working in alignment with our cycles rather than trying
to fight and force against everything you know we're cyclical beings but we don't
behave like that we don't operate like that but just bringing our awareness to the
fact that you know we sometimes need to be blooming and sometimes we need to be
resting and just working and saying that lately and it's true I never thought about
that yeah and will you be presenting too are you facilitating as well I am so I'm
going to be during guided meditations throughout the time that we're together.
We'll also be doing a bit of a reflective journey. So this is going to be an
opportunity for you to get some real clarity on where you are within your life and
within your business to realign with those priorities so that you can come back from
this retreat really energised. I'm also going to be doing some hot seat coaching.
We're going to be deep diving into your businesses And we're going to be doing that
in a way that's really responsive to the women that are actually joining us at the
retreat and where you're at and what you need. So I'm leaving that a little bit
loose at the moment because I really want to see who's coming, where they're at,
what support do they actually need and how I can then support and frame some of
these conversations to make sure that they're getting the most out of this time
away. Because as you said, people need bang for their buck, like This isn't a nice
fluffy little holiday, this is an opportunity for you to step away from your
business, get rid of all that noise and really reconnect with yourself because the
thing that I found and threw my own burnout and I'm sure you found it too is that
it becomes so disconnected from ourselves. We're so used to listening to all those
external voices telling us all the things that we should be doing and where we
should be going and how we should be growing that we forget to actually kind of
come back and and go why is it that I created this business in the first place or
where am I on my path in my career and what is it that I actually want from this
and why am I working my ass off? Where do I actually want to take it without
being caught up with it and needing the health, the fundamentals of health to
support you through that exactly and with the changes and uncertainty of AI and all
this sort of thing I think it's now it's more important than ever to be more
virally concrete in your own business, your own strength and where you're going. So
I'm pumped. I can't wait. It looks amazing. The food looks amazing. So I'm really
looking forward to it. Yeah. The food is going to be incredible. So we've got our
retreat chefs cooking for us each day and I've actually got them preparing an
adrenal diet for us. So because our systems are so overloaded already with so much
cortisol and all of the other environmental factors that we are trying to get into
process. We are stripping it all back for the retreat and it means that it'll be
refined sugar -free, gluten -free, dairy -free, there'll be alcohol -free, there will be
a little bit of caffeine if you so need it. But can I tell you, I've done this
because one, I want to give your adrenals a little bit of a break while at this
retreat and really experience it. But two, I want you to experience what this food
can actually taste like. It does not taste like cardboard. It does not taste bland.
It is incredible, delicious food. And it's all organic, locally -sourced produce that
they'll be preparing for us. And like, it's an incredible menu. And you will not go
hungry. There is breakfast, lunch, and dinner, morning tea, afternoon tea. Like,
there's plenty of food, so you'll be covered there and the location is stunning. So
Sealar Valley is this beautiful pristine piece of land in the Tweed Valley and it
backs onto a nature reserve but it's got beautiful rock pools, natural forming rock
pools where you can go swimming, you can go exploring, it's a working farm so
there's Scottish Highland cows, there's goats, there's beautiful chickens you can
collect your own eggs. So it's just a beautiful space it has such a presence this
land and that was also why I chose it because I wanted to get people to reconnect
back into nature because we spend so much time in our concrete boxes and artificial
lighting sitting in traffic. Yep sitting in traffic so I just wanted to create a
space where it was just really peaceful and really quiet and we again reconnecting
back into those natural rhythms and cycles that we you know experience without you
know, everything that's man -made and artificial around us. - Exactly, and what are
the dates again, just to reiterate for anyone in case they forget? - Yes, so it's
October the 23rd to the 26th, so we arrive on the Thursday afternoon of the 23rd.
Just to allow us time to settle and to kind of ground into the space. We kick off
on Friday morning and we go through till Sunday lunchtime, where I'll give you a
beautiful lunch and then send you on your way back home back into the real world.
I feel all refreshed already just talking about it in my little imaginary imagination
land.
Yeah and with regard to the photos too if anyone doesn't want to be because I'll
be doing the retreat as well as the photos guys so if anyone doesn't want to be
in photos it'll just be like the back of your head or blurred or whatnot so
privacy is a big thing we don't want you worrying about makeup and hair and how
you know it's really about reconnecting to you and getting away from the hustle and
bustle and taking the time out that you need that um yeah it would just be so
valuable yeah so if you are wasting many months of not working like I did. So
think of it as a very small investment by a comparison like imagine you know you
have to take a number of months off But also like for myself as well, like I
continued to work through this and for many time from so much time I just couldn't
understand how it was going to be possible for me to continue to run my business
the way that I wanted to run it and live a life that didn't completely stress me
out and burn me out every day. And this is where I come back to that idea of the
nervous system regulation because I am now I am having the life that I want. I'm
running my business the way that I want, but I'm not burnt out like I was because
I've changed my priorities, I've shifted my belief systems around these things. I've
got to the core and I've also got a really great toolkit now that helps me
regulate my nervous system to keep me back into that natural rest and digest state
that I need to be and to be able to be running at my best capacity. And you
know, one of my mentors actually shared a really great analogy with me. it's like,
you know, you don't need to, you don't need a bigger plate. You just need to learn
how to fit it onto the one you've got. Like, it's just, how can you hold it in a
different way? And I think that's a really great way of sort of thinking about it,
is you just don't, you don't need a bigger plate. You just need to think about
what you're putting on it more consciously.
Need to thrive, not just survive. And being guided by you professionals is just the
best way because it's just not the sort of thing that you know or that you get
taught and you're just learning as you go. A lot of my ladies are just winging it
and yeah just really struggling and the health is the first thing. Exercise and
health eating is the first thing to go out the window. It's so important to connect
to those fundamentals in themselves. And it's those foundations that are really
important and they are the first things that tend to go and then the other thing
is on the business side of that it's about having the right systems and processes
and support structures in place and that is the other place that I see so many
women letting themselves down trying to do it all because they haven't got the right
support network around them and you know I'm just as guilty I've done that but I
have now really systemised everything in my business I know what I should be
outsourcing I know what I should not be doing and what I need to other people to
do and that's part of those conversations we're going to be having around the
business side of your business as well. Because once you've got the clarity around
who you are, what you want from your life, then you can then make a decision
around what this business needs to look like and then we can start to support you
by putting the right systems in place and the structures will support you. Have the
right people around you so you're not doing it on your own. Yeah, similar age,
they're not similar age and yeah. - Yes, how many of them aren't? - Yeah, so yeah,
so thank you, thanks for your time. It's really nice to see what it's all about.
And if I'm gonna promote something, I like to show authenticity and show the people
who are running it what exactly answered the simple questions. And yeah, hopefully
see you there. - Yes, it would be wonderful for anyone's got any questions. That's
the other thing, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I know that sometimes
these things can be a little bit scary. It's like I haven't been on something like
this before. I'm not really sure what to expect. And, you know, that's again why,
you know, Shay and I having this conversation is because we want people to feel
more comfortable with what we're at offer. And as Carl has said, it sounds amazing.
It's going to be incredible. But I want you to feel really comfortable there. And,
you know,
connected with me, connected with Shay, just understand the type of energy that we
want to be bringing to this space and it's really about making sure that you're
looking at your life holistically rather than just being so laser focused on your
business because that's where I was and it didn't get me to the place that I
expected and it's given me a real life perspective around how I need to show up in
my business and what needs to change to make that more sustainable for the long
term because we're here for a while guys you know. I'm planning on being here for
a lot longer yet and that means I need to be able to support myself and my
business through that period of time. And going prepared that's the biggest mistake I
made it's just not being prepared you need to think about these things so can't
wait. Awesome well I want to say a huge thank you to you Tushay because you've
been incredible support of mine for so many years and you know your generosity and
coming along and capturing this retreat for us because there's going to be so many
beautiful memories that are going to be made on this retreat and I want to make
sure that everybody gets to capture those and keep those as part of the memento of
their experience as well and to have you there and you know as a really close
friend and a beautiful friend of mine and you know my photographer for so many
years and to see all the beautiful images that she has captured for me across my
socials and on my website and you all know is what she's doing guys so yeah I'm
just I'm really I'm really honored for you to for doing this for me so thank you
oh my pleasure I can't wait to come thanks to her and me can't wait all right
thank you if anyone's got any questions reach out yeah I'll come to me happy to
answer any questions but thank you so much for joining us and we hope to see you
at the retreat very soon. Bye -bye. Thanks Mel. Bye -bye.